The Newly Wed Starter Pack

It takes a village to raise a child. If you grew up in any portion of the US that identifies as the South, you've definitely heard that phrase, but what does it mean when your village no longer sees you as the child?

Gilbert's Chapel United Baptist Church was the church I grew up in. It was like what I imagine most small Baptist churches in the south are like. My mother started attending when she was in middle school with her mom and she watched the former pastor retire and hand the reigns over to his son. My mom and dad got married in that church, just like I did. My dad was sworn in as a deacon when I was old enough to remember and we moved about 5 pews up to the front where we would sit as a family. My mom was the church pianist, and my brother and I were both baptized in the baptistry that my dad built when he led the construction of the addition of the church in 2000. We would watch as the adults would play volleyball on Sunday afternoons in the side yard and host Sunday picnics the first Sunday of each month during the summer. But like most churches in small towns, it wasn't the space, but the people that made it feel like family.

People like Miss Doris Hensley are capable of changing church from a religious formality to a personal relationship built on faith. Upon first glance Doris stands a solid 5'2", has a short pixie that glistens white with a few grey shadows, and always radiates a room with her bold personality framed in a wide brimmed smile between rosy cheeks that would put Santa himself to shame. Doris sat across the aisle on the right side of the church house one pew back, barefoot, and in front of her best friend, Janet Allen. Doris was married to my dad's best friend, who was also a deacon at church, Stanley. Together they were the happiest, most fun-loving couple at church. Doris was a baker who made mini cakes for the church cake walks at the fall festival which led to a few repenting sinners based on behavior when the last mini cake was taken of the night. Doris and Janet were my Kindergarten teachers. Mrs. Allen was the lead teacher while Mrs. Hensley was the TA for the class, and had the most important job of all - giving out treats on Fridays from the prize box. I do not need to tell you which role always held the most significance.

Doris was the woman that had me sing to the class in the middle of the lock down during the attack on 9/11/2001. She was the woman that encouraged me to perform in the first ever school talent show. She was my Sunday School teacher for years. She was also the woman that tried to convince my mom not to send me to the principles office after I snuck a cell phone into school before cell phones were actually a thing. She was the woman behind all our celebration cakes from birthdays, graduations, engagements, weddings, baby showers, and those "just because" days. Doris watched me grow from my infancy into the woman that I am today, just as she did with what felt like half the county of the time which included Janet's son, Jordan.

Jordan was a few years older than I and was like a son to Doris. Their families would go eat Mexican every Sunday after church, and were together for all of life's biggest moments. When Jordan got engaged to his wife, Courtney, it was of no surprise that Doris would be the honorary cake baker, as that was always her gift. A gift that holds so much significance to the couple to be considered one of the "chosen ones" to receive a "Doris Cake". It was the day of the wedding shower and, like all good southern conversation, the topic of dessert lead to much deserved compliments to Doris and her announcing that her gift to the couple was their cakes, both for the day's shower and for the wedding. No surprise to anyone.

Now as an attendee, who wasn't officially courting anyone with the intent to marry, I was caught trying to maintain my jealousy of the whole situation. I was thrilled for my friend and for the family, but I remember silently praying that one day, this would be me. My community, my family, my gift.

Time came to open gifts and they handed out BINGO cards. On the cards in each individual squares were items from the registry and typical gifts that you would find opened in a shower. We were almost halfway through the gifts, and the BINGO game was getting intense. The next present slated to be opened was - to everyone's surprise - from Doris. What?! They got cakes and a gift? Unusual, but given their relationship it wasn't all that surprising, but what could it be? Before Courtney could even open it, Doris spoke up and told the group of roughly 30 ladies in attendance that the items in the bag would not be on their cards. She started to grin that red, flushed, Mrs. Claus grin and said, "Now, I didn't bring you the whole set, but this is your starter pack. It is up to you to finish your own, but I believe that all newly weds need to have at least a starter pack."

Of course at this, we are all on the edge of our seats to see what this could be. Courtney began to pull the white tissue paper off the top of the gift bag, and at a glance of its contents began to laugh hysterically, throwing herself back into the folding chair in front of the group. Doris takes this time to pipe up and remind her she has to pull out all of the contents of the bag for the group. As she continues to laugh, Courtney begins to pull out the most beautiful assortment of Country Crock, Cool Whip, and Blue Bonnet bowls, all in different sizes and each with their original matching lids! The group went WILD. Ladies in their 80's were in awe of the site giggling like giddy girls they probably hadn't done in years. College friends who were early 20's at best were clinching their stomachs and wiping tears from the site. And there I was, with twinkles in my eyes of pure adornment and jealously from the gift that was probably the most perfectly thoughtful, sentimental gift I have ever seen someone receive. Once Courtney had emptied the bag she had stacked Jordan's lap, filled both hands with coordinating lids, packed her lap, and her hands were also full of the remaining pieces. There it was, years worth of collecting, storing and saving, no doubt with the intention of this gift at moment.

Needless to say, the remainder of the day was spent guessing the leftovers those had contained over the years. The disappointment of a husband hoping to sneak the last of the mashed potatoes before they were repurposed into potato cakes just to find out there really was butter in that bowl. And for years I waited for the day I would be gifted something so special. My wedding came and went and I received the most beautiful and delicious cake I could have wished for made specifically for me with love by Doris, but since Jordan, no one has been gifted another starter pack. One day, I will have the perfect gift, for the perfect bride & groom from a collection I have been saving with them in mind. The Newly Wed Starter Pack.