Future in Two Visions

We all have parts of our lives that we hold as sacred. I mean so sacred that to speak of them would somehow disrupt the divinity of their existence and remove a connection, almost as powerful as a covenant between you and the most high God of Heaven. That kind of sacred.

I remember growing up in a small, white country church on a hill in southeastern Kentucky. I've read the Holy Word through, I've studied independently, in groups, with women, elders, and peers that helped me question and defend what I believe because I know it is real. One of the most intriguing parts of the stories of the Bible to me was always, is the use of visions to foreshadow the future. Visions in dreams, visions in deep sleep, visions in the clouds, they were vivid, almost tangible, and they were foretold in a way that we as a reader can still picture them ourselves thousands of years later.

My Mother-in-Law, some would say she's crazy, believes in the full presence of the spiritual as it is amongst us. She proclaims to have friends and acquaintances that prophecy the future, have visions of our countries future, of my children's lives, and surrounds herself with people who have placed themselves among the intercessors so that we may be able to commune with God. I have to admit, sometimes she's a bit much - but she is also the unapologetic Christian I want people to be able to identify me as.

So here I am, with an astonishment for the history of the stories I grew up with, a full belief that those instances are real and divine, and a woman who came into my life unannounced who oozes the confidence that all spiritual happening are present in our lives today if we are willing to accept them as our own reality. But that's where I struggled... How do I open my heart up for everything that comes with embracing ALL that God want's me to experience through him, and if I did branch into this new relationship with him, what would that look like? What I have learned through this journey, is the answer isn't about your peace. It has absolutely nothing to do with your dreams or aspirations, and being able to get a glimpse into your future rarely answers any of the questions you want desperately answered.

I was nine months pregnant with my first child, Luke, when I had my first vision. It came in the form of a dream, and it was an answered prayer. Months earlier I had begun to have severe anxiety about becoming a mother. Pregnancy was not easy for me, and I took it as a sign that something terrible was going to happen. At night I struggled with restless leg syndrome, relentless itching due to an undiagnosed and life-threatening liver enzyme imbalance, and increasing stresses of new parenthood. It had become almost routine at the first hours of the morning I would find myself rhythmically begging in silent prayer that my baby boy would be alright. I wanted nothing more in that state of my life to have any sign, any peace in my soul that my baby would be okay. Then God answered my prayer with a vision.

It was outside, mid-fall and the leaves had just reached the peak of fall foliage. There was a decent crowd, a small stage that looked to be mobile and easily transported by a pick-up truck. The mountains in the back felt eerily familiar, like they were mine, a place I had always been. There were yard signs scattered, buttons on attendees clothing, and a banner with ferns on the stage, and although all the text on each campaign item was blurred to the point it was unreadable I knew that it was all for me. As I gazed into the crowd I heard a group of young adults head my way. The first appeared to be early 20's with a beautiful stature, she was just under 6'feet tall and had beautiful long blonde hair parted down the middle. With her was another boy, who seemed slightly older, but was no doubt to me, her significant other and a subtle ring on her left hand confirmed they were in fact an item. Her smile was radiating and was full of pride - for me.

Behind her came another gorgeous girl, a full head shorter than her sister, with deep auburn hair that glistened the most comforting red hues in the fall shades. She was coming towards us in a cross between a toddlers bounce and a graceful frolic, grinning at me. When she got to the two of us in the front right of the crowd she held her hand out to the blonde and pulled us both in for an embrace so real I can still fill it's warmth in the crisp autumn air. They began looking around for the boys. The auburn haired girl left in search of the missing party, and came back toting behind a young adult man, another young lady, and a young teenage boy that fit perfectly in the middle of it all. The site of all of them together still makes my heart so overwhelmed with gratitude, I could weep in joy for the future of my family. Standing in front of me were my children.

The newest young lady among them was just as beautiful as my girls, strong in build, but gentle in spirit. She never spoke, but somehow I knew she was the life mate of my Luke, and I have named Laurel for my own sake. She was quiet, but she fit. The next man found himself linked in arms with the spirited leader of the bunch - my Elaine. She was joyous, proud of her ability to bring the group together, and knew each specifically for who they were at the core of their being. At this moment I realized they are all chattering amongst each other, talking about past adventures and memories they shared and the plans they had immediately following the celebration. It was then I felt the pulse of my hand as I looked down and noticed that my Charlotte was squeezing my palm. She was ordering her sister to "go and fetch him", out of no where I spoke for the first time, "He is your brother after all." The youngest of the bunch had disappeared. And just like that they had all disappeared, all but Charlotte.

I stood and watched as the group wondered off to look for their younger brother. As I saw them fade into the blurred crowds of people, the vision began to shift and I could see myself standing in my business professional blazer and pin shirt, campaign pin attached to my collar. I had aged to sit no older than early 50's with tinges of grey hair starting in my swoop bangs I had grown out. I had noticeable beginnings of crows feet on my eyes, and I looked utterly exhausted. I was holding both of Charlotte's hands as she faced me directly. With prideful tears in her eyes she looked at me and said, "You know he would be so proud of you." As she gazed into my eyes I could feel my body become full of pain. Pain that I still can't describe to you. I embraced her and I began to release a steady flow of tears as I saw the rest of our group returning in the distance, with the young boy in toe. As they approached I eased my grip on our hug, I took both her hands in mine and said, "I hope he would be."

When the group returned I realized that this setting was after the celebration had ended. We were wrapping up to say our final goodbye's. It took a moment to settle my emotions, and I began to thank them for driving all the way, clearing schedules, and supporting me through the process. My girls, who were still just faces at the time, took their spouses and significant others and were almost ready to leave when I realized the last was the brother. He was a teenager, probably 14 at the time, obviously still reported home to me every evening, but he was not like the others. This boy was of a different build, with dark brown hair and deep brown eyes that were in stark difference to the green and hazel of my others. He is still a mystery to me.

The vision ended as I watched him tag along with his siblings and they all faded into the crowd. I gazed one last time at the full encapsulation of my future: Political office - of what nature, I have no clue. Four beautiful children, three of which I have birthed and can identify as the authentic and mature people they will grow into being. Life of service in the mountains, routed in the culture that generations before me lived proudly and I have always called my home. And the reality of visions, pain. God answered my prayer - to see my children, with the promise of future children, healthy and thriving, but in that also comes a choice.

That vision of my future is only one outcome. It is hinged on the choices that I make, to obey or disobey, that determine whether or not the future God intends for me to live becomes a reality or not. The truth is, I am destined for a future that guides people to him. I am meant to serve communities that represent who I have been and propel them into what can be, new experiences, new opportunities, other chances to grow and prosper, to be filled with good and not so overcome by evil. That is my future - if I make the right choices.

But I want you to hear me when I say that I am scared of the pain. This vision has caused me to question almost every decision in my life. I have used it as a weight in choices I have made - whether or not making a specific choice will lead me down a path closer to this vision or not. Who is this youngest son, and where did he come from? Why does he not fit the mold like the other three? Who did Charlotte mean when she said, "...he would be so proud of you."? Was he the reason why there was so much gut wrenching pain? How does this all happen?

Even among all of this uncertainty, I am thankful to know that my children are healthy. They will grow to be strong, mature, independent, and loved people. I will raise them to be Godly, and have values of family, community, and each other. But how do I protect them from the rest? Is the trauma they have to endure what makes them so grounded? Is it worth it? That last one get's me every time. Would it be worth it for my own advancement, no. But if the obedience to God's will leads to the future vision, then no matter the pain that I have to endure, my children will reap the rewards on earth and in Heaven if they choose to believe. That is what makes it worth it.

Since the first vision in 2019, prior to Luke being born, I have been blessed two two girls (twins) that I knew at the first sign of a positive test were going to be two girls because of my vision. We have moved our family to be closer to the mountains and talked about what our future careers look like. I have peace in the decisions I have made knowing they really are part of the obedience to his will in this. But. It was about mid-summer of 2023 when I had my second vision. The vision that I believe answers some of the questions I have regarding the pain I will have to experience in order to serve the people of southeastern Kentucky.

I am not at a point that I feel like it is necessary to share, because I do not want to speak tragedy into existence, or stir up another battle of good versus evil in my home. I know one day, I will have to tell the story if I am to be obedient to His will, but for now, just know I am preparing myself and my family to stand firm on the love we share and the promise we have of a future together.